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Love and Respect: An Introduction

November 18, 2013

Love and Respect: An Introduction

Love and RespectIf there are two words that can make or break a marriage, they are Love and Respect. These two are essential — the very gears that keep a marriage flourishing when they are practiced and applied, or bring it to a painful and grinding halt when they are neglected. However, the present age has taken the lens away of these simple and important principles. It’s crucial we bring the focus back to these truths, back the true design of men and women, husband and wife, and their roles in a happy, flourishing marriage.

Love and Respect

During times of marital conflict, men tend to be hurt and close up, or overreact, when they feel disrespected by their wife. On the other hand, women also react in the same wrong ways when they feel unloved by their husbands. Some women may say they feel disrespected, but actually what they were trying to say is that they did not feel loved by their husbands. A man that feels disrespected will tend to act unloving, and woman that feel unloved will tend to act disrespectful. Perhaps you can see, and have experienced, how this can quickly spiral out of control! How often, even, the conflict itself really started from a response that was either disrespectful or unloving, starting this chain reaction. You may or may not notice this in your own relationship, but this happens in more than 90% of conflicts, even in Christian marriages.

Before we go further into the deeper details of Love and Respect, we need to understand their significance. A husband and wife need to know what this can do for them and their marriage before making the changes being able to exercise it.


Men are designed to be the leader and protector of the family. They are designed for strength, and responsibility, all the wonderful pressures of making sure their family is provided for and successful. Integrity is a very important factor to strive for as they bring their family together, learning to lead their family closer to Christ as a key responsibility. Because of how men were designed for tough and extraordinary roles, leading form the front and taking the blows, respect is the kind of response that they are designed to receive. It’s an expected outcome – a reward that encourages them and motivates them all the more to be at their very best for their wife and family. Respect, not nagging, is the encouragement needed to make a man his best.


Though men also need to receive love from their spouse, women are in search and need of it far more than men. They want to feel loved by their husband and expect to receive the same kind of love that they naturally express towards them. The more they feel loved, the more they are able to show respect and reverence towards their husbands. The less they feel loved, the harder it becomes for them to strive in showing respect. Women are made to naturally express love but unnaturally express respect. You may hear her say that she loves you but doesn’t respect you at the same time – this is highly possible for them.


Love and respect isn’t something made up or just simply a product of human nature. It is how God uniquely designed men and women. They are given the gift to respond to each other in unique ways to bring more meaning in their oneness in marriage. It is clearly laid out in the Bible how men need respect and women should be loved. As Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Also Read what men really want

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